What's fusion?

Name:
Location: Stockholm, Sweden

I am not sure how to describe myself

Friday, May 13, 2005

Music and Depression

Recently I have been feeling the lowest in my life ever, do to some personnal reasons. At this time, music has really helped me to get back to myself. I have been playing the guitar day in and day out. My fingers have huge cuts in them. Many times I go on playing the same thing again and again, many times I go on onto something different and creative. Sometimes I play things which are amazing and I felt I should have recorded it.

Music helps me expend the feelings in a more subtle way. I feel more relieved after having played or sang for an hour than having poured my heart out to any good friend. I think my music understands me the best, more than anybody else ever could. I think I find words insufficient to express my sorrow at the present state. I possibly could never tell anyone how sad I am feeling. But I find a vent through music and it helps me overcome my sadness.

Its not that I just play sad tunes or sad raagas when I am sad. I do play anything. But when I play something sad, I feel some kind of resonance within which tells me, yes...this is what you are feeling. This is the emotion you are going through. This is the turmoil you are facing within yourself. This eggs me to produce music which is exactly what my heart is facing, and after it has been produced I feel cleansed of that emotion. It dosnt bother me anymore. Ofcourse there is so much to pour out presently, that I have been playing like crazy.

I guess thats why people say sadness or love gets out the best music and poetry from a person.